It’s time. The “Fellow
Missionary Spotlight” lecture series must commence.
Cue Melanie “La Profa” Jorgenson. Melanie, a two-time winner of the “Most Energy”
award and recent recipient of the “Most Difficult Class to Teach”
commiseration, has recently received much attention for her work in the area of
gastronomy.
Other characters
featuring prominently:
The Missionaries, aka
The Food Critics: well known for their exacting criteria and detail-oriented
critique, feared throughout a 14 manzana area, frequenters of at least seven
additional food establishments, and distinguished for their commitment to
establishing a safe location for production of high-quality pancakes
Señor Pancake – A
mischievous little fellow who shape-shifts often into a variety of edible and
inedible forms
Junior Pancake – A
nonexistent relative of Señor pancake made up in the ultimately unsuccessful
hopes of pulling together a pun
Narrating Lawyer: One
of the aformentioned food critics, a dabbler in all things narratory (including
the heretoforthwith inscribed story), has a tendency to launch into floury yet
incorrectly used language best reserved for the confines of the law office, in
this the twentieth hour of the twenty fourth day of the month of February and
at other times too
Señorita Syrup – A Type
II diabetic, known caramel lover, and often described by her avid (vaguely
southern) twitter followers as “a whole buncha sugar mixed with water in
varyin’ quantities”
***
Our story takes form
over the course of four meals.
It begins in a lowly
kitchen on the North coast of Honduras. The propane stove is almost out and
rain threatens any considerations of an outdoor fire.
Melanie “La Profa” Jorgenson
is working away. She has Señor Pancake on the rocks, and by that I don’t mean
she’s drinking him with ice. Two hours pass with Señor Pancake hiding in a
giant vat of batter mixed with far too much water. Melanie has been throwing
flour at the batter at varying intervals in vain and even threatened to catch
the stove on fire if not appeased. After several griddle cleanings and trips to
the trash can, La Profa seeks out one of the food critics (Kevin) for
assistance. Señor Pancake immediately pops out of hiding and begins to multiply
on command.
Henceforth an edict is
edictified, or in layman’s terms, a declaration is declared:
The Undersigned
Concerned Hopeful Effervescent Foodprovider (CHEF) Melanie “La Profa” Jorgensen
does hereby declarify that on this, the first day of individual pancake
cooking, in the splendid month of January in this, the Two Thousand and
Sixteenth Year Since The Inaccurately Dated Birth of Christ According To The
Gregorian Calendar, the aforementioned undersigned undersignee is committed to
producing a supper of bona fide pancakes adhering to the standards set forth by
the Finca Missionary Quality Food and Pancake Administration (abbreviated FMQFPA
and commonly pronounced Ffmquafpa). Or in the words of the Undersigned CHEF,
“I’m going to keep cooking pancakes at every meal until it actually works!”
Etc.
***
Then three more times
in a row of cooking pancakes happened with varying degrees of success but each
with their individual problems, some of which are related to Señorita Syrup
(was too watery, had too much sugar, turned into caramel when we got delayed by
15 minutes, had a pumice stone get stuck while trying to clean the pan, forgot
oil, etc).
Cool kid though.
She’ll get there. We here at Ffmquafpa take pride in our Concerned Hopeful
Effervescent Foodproviders.
P.S. You can read about Melanie in a more detailed and less unbalanced fashion here on her own blog: https://hugsfromhonduras.wordpress.com/
P.P.S. She approved this message, don't worry.
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